Newspaper
by Zuki27Chuu
Summary: Kudo Kazahaya and Himura Rikuo have the day off for a random holiday. The boys are sitting together at lunch in their apartment when Kazahaya breaks the silence with a rather random question.


**-=Newspaper=-**

"Ano, Rikuo?" Kudo Kazahaya looked up from his lunch to his partner, roommate, and co-worker Rikuo Himura.

"Yeah." Rikuo glanced up from reading his newspaper to see why it was that his reading had been interrupted.

"Ano…." Kazahaya trailed off.

"What?" Rikuo asked, because if he had gone back to reading his paper, Kazahaya would have merely interrupted him again. It was not out of curiosity that he asked, Kazahaya believed, but to get him to say what it was he wanted to say so they could go back to sitting in silence. Though, Rikuo mostly wanted to know why he had interrupted his reading randomly.

"Uh…when's your birthday?"

"What?" Rikuo had heard him just fine, but the question had made no sense.

"When's your birthday?" Kazahaya reiterated.

"Why do you want to know?" He returned, voicing his exact thought.

"Just because I do…" also voicing his exact thought.

Rikuo gave Kazahaya his trademarked smirk, "You want to get me something _special_?" he teased the blonde.

Kazahaya, instantly angered by Rikuo's comment hurtled his rice bowl at the offenders head, who predictably caught it. It just would not do to have things unnecessarily being broken, and Kazahaya would have gotten even madder if he had made him pay for it. "NO! JERK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" He exploded

Rikuo's smirk persisted, "So do you want to know?"

Kazahaya sat down again and gave a defeated, "…Yes…"

"October nineteenth."

Kazahaya perked up and looked at Rikuo, "Really?"

Rikuo could scarcely believe the way this conversation was going, "…No, not really," he said sarcastically.

"Wait then-" was the beginning of what would have been a perplexed statement, but he was cut off by his partner.

"Yes really, you idiot," Rikuo cut him off before he had a chance to make a pointless statement.

Kazahaya exploded at the insult, "HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT YOU STUPID FRIED MONKEY!"

"…." Rikuo was taking his time pondering Kazahaya's response.

"…." Upon having _no_ immediate response from Rikuo.

"…Fried monkey?" Rikuo said, raising an eyebrow at Kazahaya in a mocking way, starting to smirk again.

"…Stupid jerk," Kazahaya muttered crossing his arms and looking down at his plate of food again.

"…"

Suddenly, Kazahaya had an epiphany, "Hey wait! Your birthday's next week!"

"…Yeah…" Rikuo said flatly, almost in disbelief that he managed to look so amazed at the fact.

"Wow, how old are you gonna be?" suddenly conversational again.

"…"_This boy is definitely either bi-polar or has multiple personalities_, Rikuo thought at the sudden unexpected reversion of Kazahaya to civil conversation from yelling and insults.

Kazahaya sat expectantly; perfectly happy and content with the world at that moment, waiting for Rikuo's response.

"Eighteen."

"Wow, good for you," somehow, this amazed Kazahaya. Actually, any age would have amazed Kazahaya. The sort of amazement that comes from discovering something that is nameless' name, or UN-enumerated a number; it must have existed before, but discovering it is always marvelous and not quite what you thought you expected.

"…Kazahaya do you have a point?" Rikuo asked, this conversation did not seem to have any tie in to reality that Rikuo could find.

"What?" Kazahaya had not understood Rikuo's question.

Rikuo had half expected Kazahaya to not comprehend. He sighed and shook his head, going back to his paper.

"Hey wait, what do you mean?" Kazahaya prompted, trying to draw his attention away from the paper again.

Rikuo glanced up from the paper to Kazahaya, who looked eager for information that he did not yet have, or something close to. He sighed again and raised his head all the way to look at Kazahaya, "Was there a reason you asked me when my birthday was?"

"Ah, no not really," Kazahaya answered honestly.

Rikuo's brain ticked in annoyance, "So you just said whatever the hell was on your mind?"

"HEY!"

Rikuo smirked again, and to provoke him even more, "You're just the kind of person who'd do that"

Kazahaya was then truly pushed over the edge, "WHAT THE HELL YOU JERK! I WAS TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION! It's better than you reading your stupid newspaper non stop!" And that was how Kazahaya really felt; he had truly just been trying to talk to Rikuo, and merely said the first thing that had popped into his mind. He hated how Rikuo would always read the paper at every meal instead of talking, or even silence, but the paper itself was an insult to Kazahaya. He hated how Rikuo would rather read the paper than talk to him. It was so stupid, he, Kazahaya, was a real person, and here, the stupid newspaper got all the attention. Literally, Rikuo only talked to Kazahaya to tease or embarrass him.

"-It's better than getting into fights with you. You give me a headache," Rikuo said going back to his paper. The idiot was out of control; he would calm down eventually and stop yelling.

"ASSHOLE!" Kazahaya screamed at him, jumping up. He wanted to insult Rikuo as badly as Rikuo had insulted him with the newspaper remark. He wanted him to feel the same way, to be hurt. But he knew Rikuo wouldn't take him seriously. He ran to his room and slammed the door.

"Hnn," Rikuo shifted the paper and continued reading.

…

The silence coming from Kazahaya's room was unsettling. Usually he would play loud music or rant at the walls. Kazahaya making no noise was odd. Unnerving. Almost scary. Making him worry.

Wait worry? Why should he worry? Kazahaya was a perfectly, er, well, he could mostly take care of himself anyway. Discounting the fact that he could not cook very well, naturally. Rikuo had, in fact, taught Kazahaya almost everything he knew in the cooking aspect of life. Kazahaya wasn't much good at cooking; well, the few things he knew how to cook he cooked fairly well. At least in Rikuo's opinion. Maybe he just enjoyed seeing Kazahaya in that ridiculous apron he insisted on wearing. It was endearing. Wait, endearing?

Then again, it was said that any meal tastes better when you have someone to share it with.

But he was sure Kazahaya was fine, why should not he be? He's fine, he's just…sleeping in the middle of a day off? Or something…it would be unlike Kazahaya to read, as far as Rikuo knew…well he must be able to read with how well he could keep store, and it would make no sense for Kakei to hire someone who was illiterate. Come to think of it, he didn't know what Kazahaya did in his free time. Not that either of them ever had very much, between working the drugstore and Kakei's side jobs…the rest of the time was mostly for sleep or eating.

Either way, Kazahaya must be fine.

Oh, to hell with this stupid mental monologue, Rikuo thought, I'm just gonna go look in on him. He was prepared for any fit Kazahaya could and likely would throw at Rikuo coming into his room unbidden, but Rikuo had finally admitted to himself that he was worried about Kazahaya. He had looked upset when he'd left. Rikuo could have been imagining it, but, he'd feel better if he just checked.

Rikuo got up from his seat at the table, setting down the day's newspaper on the table next to his emptied plate. They had eaten lunch together in their apartment for what seemed like what must have been the first time ever. The reason is that it was some sort of holiday in accordance with Kakei, who had conveniently left the facility for the day with Saiga in accompaniment, so the drugstore was closed for the day. Kakei hadn't given them any specific 'side job' for the day, in fact he had given them no instructions whatsoever. He had just smiled and said, "Do enjoy your day off, boys." Given the present situation, they did not seem to be 'enjoying' their day off. They had not done much that morning, Kazahaya had gone back to sleep, and Rikuo had been bored and listless. Eventually lunchtime had come around, by which time Kazahaya was awake; Rikuo had made lunch, which had taken place in, mostly, silence. Until Kazahaya had asked his birthday question and they had 'fought' and he had run off back to his room.

Though 'fight' hardly seem like an appropriate term, as they always had pointless verbal exchanges, mostly with Kazahaya yelling and Rikuo teasing in between bursts of it. But they never seemed to truly upset Kazahaya before. He had been acting weird the past day or two. Especially with going back to sleep that morning, normally Rikuo would have been one to go back to sleep, not Kazahaya, who was one of interminable energy.

Rikuo quietly opened Kazahaya's door, there was no sound from within the room, which was blandly decorated. It looked like a hotel room, like he did not really live there, and was just visiting. For some reason that thought, in combination with the almost stark surroundings, made Rikuo shiver. Almost stark because of the disheveled looking bed and one, Kudo Kazahaya, laying on it, facing the wall away from the door.

Rikuo could tell he was awake though.

"So why'd you come in here? I thought I gave you a headache," Kazahaya said in an uncharacteristically cold voice. Rikuo's blatantly stated preference of the newspaper over his company had upset him. He didn't know why, though. Why should he care if that great hulking jerk preferred stupid propagandized newspapers over his conversation? The very thought insulted him so much he involuntarily stiffened, a newspaper was apparently worth more than he was.

But it had always been like that. Rikuo had only ever talked to Kazahaya to tease, insult, or embarrass him. He had never talked to him simply because. And after so long, Kazahaya was lonely, Kakei-san and Saiga-san did not really count as friends, they were nice and took care of Kazahaya to some extent, but they could not really be considered _friends_. Kazahaya always was around Rikuo, it would be nice if it were someone else, but as he had no choice in the matter, he had decided to try and make a friend, since he _had_ no one else. And then Rikuo went and stated his obvious preference for the bloody newspaper.

Rikuo noticed Kazahaya stiffen and thought it was because of him, in permutation of his bizarrely cold comment and rigid form, Rikuo was thrown. He actually was at a loss for words for a moment, but only a moment, "Yeah, you do." Instantly he wished he'd phrased that better or had said something different, but what's said is said.

"So leave," Kazahaya said in the coldest most venomous voice he had.

_So cold…_Rikuo thought. He did not know what to do about Kazahaya.

"What the hell did you come in here for?" Kazahaya asked frigidly at Rikuo's silence and apparent lack of action to leave. Kazahaya's use of the word 'hell' in calm cold context shocked him more than a little. Usually Kazahaya only swore when he was all worked up and yelling, and it could be counted on he didn't truly mean anything he said when riled up. But it took an expert half of the time to work out what exactly it was that he had said. Something else struck Rikuo; _he must really hate me…_

Rikuo answered before he had really considered his words, so thrown was he by Kazahaya's continued cold calm demeanor, "I was worried."

"About what?" _As if it's not obvious,_ Rikuo thought. Kazahaya was being uncharacteristically cold and manipulative. Make him say it, why he was worried, how he's feeling, why his mind works that way. Kazahaya honestly could not imagine what Rikuo could have been worried about. It was not like he cared. About him.

"You were quiet, so I was worried."

"About what?" Kazahaya reiterated at the avoidance of the meaning of his question.

"About you."

"Believe it or not, people can be quite at times and be fine, Rikuo." Kazahaya was even more insulted by Rikuo's stupid assumptions.

"Then I'm sorry I was worried."

This time Kazahaya didn't answer. _Can he be lying? Was he really worried?_

But Rikuo didn't leave.

"Am I really…" Kazahaya trailed off. He had sounded almost vindicated, rather contemplative, and almost upset. Clearly something he wanted to know, in a different way, for a different reason than him asking about Rikuo's birthday earlier; but he still truly wanted to know whatever it was he had trailed off at asking. It seemed as if he wanted to ask but couldn't either find the words or force them out. It had been hard to force down his hurt up until that point, and accidentally let a little of it slip into his voice. Though not enough to betray what he was feeling.

"Are you really what?" Rikuo prompted, but not in a rude way.

"Am I really worth less than a newspaper?" Kazahaya asked sounding both hurt and resentful. A newspaper, something that is remade everyday, something so bogus, something almost no one really takes seriously; it's just something that's there, something that can easily be replaced. Something you throw out every day. Or burn. Something disposable, replaceable, unimportant, functional.

"What…?" Rikuo asked, more than slightly bewildered.

"You said you'd rather read your newspaper than talk to me. Am I really worth less than a stupid newspaper?" He elaborated, more of his deep hurt creeping into his voice than had been before. It sounded as though he were trying not to cry.

"I said I'd rather read the paper than fight with you, there's a difference between that and a paper being worth more than you."

Kazahaya did not respond to Rikuo, but made a quiet sound like the intake of breath, and curled up a bit on his bed, with his back still to Rikuo. It took Rikuo a moment or two to realize that Kazahaya was crying. He acted before his mind could rationalize the thought, and went and sat on the bed next to Kazahaya.

Rikuo pulled Kazahaya into a hug and let the boy cry into his shoulder. He understood now why Kazahaya had been upset; he had felt worthless. Kazahaya may act like he hates Rikuo, but he does value him as a person and does want to be seen as an equal on the same level as that person. Even though they may not seem to get along, Rikuo is the first friend that Kazahaya has ever really had. They were partners. They were coworkers. They were friends. That was what Kazahaya wanted to believe. And then Rikuo went and put a lousy newspaper above him. It made him feel worthless. The hurt he had forced down inside of him welled up and overflowed. He sobbed quietly into Rikuo's shoulder, his slender body shaking from the force of his sobs.

"It's okay Kazahaya," he murmured to Kazahaya, in an attempt to staunch his emotional pain, "You're not worthless. You're a very precious friend to me."

Tears still falling Kazahaya unburied his face from Rikuo's shoulder and looked up at him hopefully, "Really…?"

"Yes really," Rikuo said, gently brushing Kazahaya's tears away.

Kazahaya blushed and looked down away from Rikuo's face, brushing his nose on the back of his hand.

Rikuo got up from Kazahaya's bed and started to walk to the door. Kazahaya silently watched him. When Rikuo got to the door he turned around, "Coming?"

Kazahaya looked confused, "What…where?"

"It's a nice day out. We could go to an amusement park. After all, we've got the day off." Rikuo knew full well he would have to pay for Kazahaya.

Kazahaya perked up considerably, "Really?" It seemed that Rikuo really was his friend.

"Yeah, why not," Rikuo offered.

"Yay! Let's go!" He said, jumping up and dragging Rikuo out of the door before he had a chance to change his mind.

AN: I actually wrote this years ago and was suddenly inspired to post it. Technically, this was my first fanfic by/for myself. Sorry for any ooc-ness, knowing I stuck a few select words in Rikuo's mouth, and pulled a few out of Kazahaya's (I really can't picture Rikuo saying that 'precious friend' line -.- ''); but I thought it worked overall. The line where Rikuo says 'I didn't say anything about a newspaper being worth more than you' I actually kind of 'borrowed' the idea from the lovely fiction 'Cry'. But I mean come _on_, Rikuo's _always_ reading the blasted newspaper.

Also, I think I made up a totally random birthday.

Please drop me a line and reveiew, if you feel so inclined :)


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